


Breathe Me

by bamonisfuckingendgame



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Bonnie Bennett & Damon Salvatore Friendship, Boys Kissing, Car Sex, Emo, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Bonnie Bennett/Damon Salvatore, F/M, Girls Kissing, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, Minor Caroline Forbes/Damon Salvatore, Multi, References to Depression, Spin the Bottle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-03-30 03:09:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19033543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bamonisfuckingendgame/pseuds/bamonisfuckingendgame
Summary: After a peculiar game of Spin the Bottle, Bonnie goes to Damon in search of a favor. Little does she know that the usually predictable vampire would surprise her and show he cares.[Takes place sometime around the beginning of season 2]





	1. Feeling something is better than feeling absolutely nothing

**I**

“Come on guys! We never do anything fun anymore, we deserve this!” Caroline says eagerly.

 

“Spin the Bottle, though? Are we twelve?” I say snarkily.

 

Caroline rolls her eyes. “If you don’t want to play, Damon, you can take your 200-year-old vampire ass and leave.”

 

I roll my eyes and look around the room at the group. Stefan and Elena are sitting side by side, holding hands. Matt and Tyler are across from them, laughing at the antics of the two vampires. And Bonnie, who is sitting cross-legged on the floor beside Caroline, has a serious look on her face.

 

I sigh resignedly, walking over to an empty spot on the floor between Elena and Matt.

 

“Okay then,” Caroline says, placing an empty coke bottle in the middle. “Who wants to start?”

 

Everyone looks around at each other, no one eager to play the game, let alone go first.

 

I chuckle. “Fine, I’ll go,” I say, reaching out and giving the bottle a spin.

 

The bottle spins quickly for a few seconds, before slowing down and stopping in the direction of none other than Bonnie.

 

I glance up and meet her eyes, which are glaring back into mine, not that I blamed her.

 

“Bonnie, you can skip him if you want-” Caroline says.

 

“No, it’s fine,” she interrupts, still glaring. “I may despise him, but hey, this is supposed to be fun, right?” she says, before scooting closer to the middle of the circle.

 

I did not see that coming.

 

I move closer to her warily, as not to do anything to deserve any witchy aneurysms. We lock eyes once more, but this time, she’s less angry and more focused on the task at hand.

 

She leans in, shutting her eyes, and I do the same. After a sharp inhale, she presses her lips to mine. I kiss back softly, relishing in the feeling before kissing her more deeply.

 

_ You want to have fun, Bonnie? Well, this should do the trick. _

 

I run my fingers across her thigh intently, pressing a few urgent, open-mouthed kisses to her lips. My tongue glides seductively across her bottom lip, and she sighs, kissing back with equal intensity. I break the kiss then, opening my eyes to find hers filled with lust and piercing mine. She clears her throat a few too many seconds later, moving back to her spot.

 

As I sit back in mine, I look around to find everyone staring at us in shock from witnessing the kiss turned short-lived make-out session. I smirk, looking across the circle at  Bonnie. who looks away as soon as I look her way.

 

Caroline is the first to break the silence. “O..kay then… who’s next?”

 

The game continues after that with a few peculiar encounters.

 

Matt and Elena are next, the former couple awkwardly pecking each other on the lips. They part with an awkward smile before returning to their seats.

 

Tyler and Caroline follow, a kiss which is short-lived but intense, which they all could sense. Bonnie spins next, and the bottle lands on Caroline, to which everyone giggles. The two kiss dramatically for a few seconds before moving on to Matt’s spin, which lands on Stefan, the most awkward of all. Everyone watches amusedly as the two lock lips for just a moment before pulling away and returning silently to their spots.

 

The game ends after that, everyone getting into their cars and heading home for the night.

 

On the way to my car, Bonnie walks up to me, visibly at a loss for words.

 

“Everything okay, Bonnie?”

 

“I, um, don’t know what to make of that,” she chuckles.

 

“Of us kissing?” I ask.

 

She looks at me then, her answer a silent yes.

 

“You liked it, didn’t you?” I ask knowingly.

 

She nods, before looking away.

 

“But you hate me and hate that you liked it, right?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

I reach down and run my hand down her arm softly. “I’m sorry for any pain I caused you, Bonnie. I-”

 

“I don’t want to think about that, Damon. And for whatever reason, despite everything, I liked kissing you, and I don’t know what the hell to do about it.”

 

“I can think of a few things,” I tease.

 

She glares at me with a mix of frustration and interest, sighing.

 

After much hesitation, she speaks again. “Kiss me.”

 

“What?” I ask, shocked.

 

“I know, I’ve totally and completely lost my mind, but right now, I don’t care. This is a welcome distraction.”

 

“Okay…” I say. I lift her chin and kiss her again for the second time that evening. Her fingers tangle in my hair, and she pushes herself against me as close as she can get. I grab her hips, lifting her up and pinning her tightly to the car. Our lips glide against each other for a few moments before I open the door to my car, get on top of her and kiss her some more.

 

After I shut the door behind us, I turn back around to find her looking just as lustful as she had been earlier. She pulls me back to her, kissing me with wild abandon and slipping her tongue into my mouth and against mine. I moan, reaching down to unbutton and unzip her pants instinctively.

 

Once they’re off, I trail kisses down her neck, hiking up her top and bra and leaving kisses and bites on every inch of her skin.  _ Fuck, she’s beautiful. _

 

I lick and suck each of her nipples, hearing a constant stream of moans escape her mouth. She wraps her legs around my waist tightly, desperate for some friction. I lift my head from her chest and look at her.

 

“You want more, Bon? Huh? Want me to fuck you?”

 

Our eyes lock once more, and she looks so desperate, so needy for more.

 

Her answer comes in the form of ripping off my shirt and reaching for my pants.

 

With both of us naked, I reach down and run my fingers along her entrance, teasing her with every stroke. She bites her bottom lip as I slide a finger inside her, pumping it in and out, before adding another.

 

“Damon please…”

 

“Okay, baby.”

 

I pull my fingers out, licking them clean, before pushing myself inside of her inch by inch.

 

Her legs wrap around my waist once more, but she remains silent, a pained yet pleasured expression on her face.

 

I sigh, taking in the feeling. “You okay, Bon?”

 

She nods, pulling me closer and kissing me softly. “Just go slow.”

 

I look at her, this girl whom I’ve caused so much pain and wronged so many times. Why did she want to do this with me? She deserved so much better.

 

But I would give her the best experience I could.

 

I pull out slightly, before pushing back in slowly, over and over again until she starts panting with need.

 

“Faster,” she says.

 

I pull out all the way before pushing inside hard and fast until she’s shaking with desire.

 

I reach for her clit, rubbing and pinching it until I can feel her orgasm flowing through her.

 

“Damon…” she moans my name loudly, grasping me as she cums.

 

I finish just moments after she does, speeding up my thrusts and resting my head against her neck. I stay there for a minute after, pressing chaste kisses along her throat and then to her lips before pulling out and sitting up.

 

While I’m getting my clothes back on, I watch her curiously.

 

She’s getting dressed as well, turned away from me as she does. She looks over her shoulder for a moment, before looking away when she catches my eyes on her.

 

Once fully dressed, I reach for her hand. “Why are you hiding from me, Bon?”

 

She stops getting her sneakers on and looks at me. “I’m not,” she says matter-of-factly.

 

“Yes, you are. And you know it,” I say.

 

She pulls her hand away. “I- This was a mistake, I- I need to go,” she says, tying her shoelaces and reaching for the door handle.

 

I reach out, blocking her hand before she’s able to open the door. Our faces are mere inches apart, her eyes darting to my lips and mine to hers.

 

“Then why did you want to do this?” I whisper, eyes darting up to hers.

 

She moves an inch closer, breathing out against my lips and shutting her eyes. She presses her beautiful lips to mine once more, kissing me softly and leisurely before pulling away.

 

“Because feeling something is better than feeling absolutely nothing,” she says, before getting out of the car and walking away.


	2. You’re not gonna make me wait all night, are you?

**II**

I get in my car, stab the key in the ignition and set off toward my house.

 

_What the hell was I thinking? Opening up to him… in more ways than one?_

 

I sigh. _That can’t happen again. He’s an asshole vampire who has attacked me and basically killed Grams due to his stupid obsession with Katherine… and yet I made out with and had sex with him?_

 

A constant cycle of thoughts flashes through my mind during the ten-minute drive home.

 

When I reach my house, I run straight upstairs to my room and put my pajamas on before hiding under my comforter.

 

_I was right, it was a welcome distraction from the emptiness, the grief, the loneliness. Being with him… it woke me up. While with everyone else, I feel neutral, being around him brings back those strong emotions, the ones that make me feel alive. Yeah, he was an asshole, but he was an asshole who brought out the strength in me, triggered by his stupidity. I hated him but also wanted him, as insane as that was. But once I left him, all the feelings returned._

_Emptiness, grief, loneliness._

 

My phone buzzes on my nightstand, and I grab it, still hiding under the blanket.

 

I open my eyes and look at my phone.

 

_**Damon 12:17 am** _

_I know you need someone to talk to._

 

**_Bonnie 12:18 am_ **

_Not you._

 

_**Damon 12:20 am** _

_I’m outside. Come out or invite me in, your choice._

 

_Like that was gonna happen. Guess I’m not the only one who lost their mind tonight._

 

I shut my eyes and try to sleep for a few minutes, even though the thought of him on my porch was keeping me wide awake.

 

Another buzz.

 

_**Damon 12:25 am** _

_You’re not gonna make me wait all night, are you? Cuz I will._

 

I throw my comforter off of me and hop out of bed, sighing annoyedly. I practically run down the stairs and swing open the front door, where I find him standing, arms crossed.

 

I roll my eyes. “Just come in,” I say, before walking back upstairs and climbing back into my bed.

 

Footsteps graze the floor a minute later before my bedroom door closes and he’s sitting on the bed beside me.

 

“What did you mean when you said you feel nothing?” Damon asks softly.

 

I don’t answer.

 

“If you don’t talk about it you’re not gonna feel better.”

 

I turn onto my back and stare at the ceiling. “I’m depressed, okay? Life has sucked lately.”

 

He lies down beside me.

 

“Go on, let it out,” he says.

 

“...I’m just exhausted- mentally, physically. People dying, vampires trying to kill me, my best friend being turned into one. Always having to save everyone. It’s all become too much, to the point that I don’t even want to care anymore. I feel nothing, which is why…”

 

“You slept with me and didn’t try to avoid me during spin the bottle.”

 

I nod. “It worked until it was over and I was back to feeling like this again. Back to feeling like I’m dead inside. Like this is all pointless.”

 

“Why did you come to me for sex though? Of all people?”

 

I chuckle. “You’re the only one who makes me feel things these days. Mostly anger and rage, but it makes me feel alive again, even if it’s only temporary. So I figured, why not? Nothing matters anymore so why not distract myself from the constant emptiness the only way I can?”

 

He sighs.

 

“I know, it’s backwards thinking. Why would I have sex with the guy who’s part of the reason I’m so messed up? But it just makes sense, somehow,” I say.

 

A few minutes pass in comfortable silence before he speaks.

 

“Do you still hate me?” he asks.

 

“Yes and no. I hate what you’ve done, but not how you make me feel,” I say, flipping over to face him.

 

A serious yet sad look resides in his eyes, almost as though he actually cares.

 

“I know I act like a dick… like I don’t care about you, but I do, Bonnie. You’re a good person, and I understand your pain. I want to help you any way I can, if you’ll let me,” he says.

 

“How do I know you’re not just trying to get in my pants again?” I ask, half seriously and half jokingly.

 

He chuckles. “I’ll only be in your pants if you want me in them, Judgy.”

 

I smile. _God, it’s been so long since I truly smiled, and not just feigned it. And it felt good._

 

“Can you stay here tonight?”

 

“Sure, _baby_ ,” he says, pecking me softly on the lips.

 

I giggle in response. “Shut up.”

 

He takes off everything but his boxers before climbing under the comforter and next to me.

 

“You know you like when I call you that,” he says, smirking.

 

I roll my eyes dramatically, before flipping over and turning my back to him.

 

“Goodnight Damon,” I whisper, still smiling.

 

“Goodnight baby,” he whispers back, wrapping his arms securely around my waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your thoughts and kudos below ;) xo


	3. She may be the death of me, but right now, she’s making me feel more alive than ever

**III**

The weeks to follow go by slowly. Bonnie has been working on dealing with her feelings and finding healthier ways to feel better.

 

She met with the school psychologist and had begun truly dealing with her Grams’ death. When it came to the less human stuff, like her friends and the supernatural insanity they were facing, she wrote about it in a journal. And, of course, she spent time with me to talk about it all, to vent, and to feel better in… other ways.

 

After driving her home from school on a breezy Friday afternoon, we walk up the steps to her house, chatting about our days and the latest supernatural drama ensuing. At the top of the stairs, she pauses to look at me, lips pursed.

 

I look back curiously. “Is everything oka-”

 

Before I can finish my sentence, she’s on her tiptoes, lips against mine and fingers wrapped in my hair.

 

I sigh, kissing her back, my hands grazing her hips and tugging her closer to me.

 

_ I was surprised- she hadn’t done anything sexual with me since the night of spin the bottle, and I hadn’t done more than flirt harmlessly since then. I was determined to stick to my promise of not trying to get into her pants unless she was the one initiating it. But hell, had I wanted nothing more than to do this since the night we’d spent together all those weeks ago. _

 

She pulls away, reaching for her keys and opening the door before pulling me inside behind her.

 

She closes the door and kisses me again and again, running her tongue across the part between my lips, asking for access. I allow her it and she takes full advantage, walking me backward until I fall unceremoniously onto the couch.

 

She climbs on top of me, reaching for the hem of my shirt before running her hand beneath it and tracing it over my chest.

 

She reaches the other one up, her hand cupping my face before kissing and sucking along the column of my neck roughly.  _ If I couldn’t heal, there would definitely be hickeys. _

 

I moan, bucking my hips up against her involuntarily.

 

“ _ Bonnie… _ ” I growl, before flipping her over and returning the favor.

 

She pulls my face from her neck a minute later, locking her forest green eyes with my ocean blue ones. We stare at each other, so entirely bewitched by the other that we can’t drag our eyes away.

 

She pulls me right down to her after we finally break out of our haze, our lips meeting once more before she sits up.

 

Standing on our knees on the leather couch, she slowly pulls my shirt over my head before doing the same for her own. She then unclips her bra, looking into my eyes seductively as she pulls each strap down, before letting it fall into her lap.

 

She presses her chest to mine, then, her nipples rubbing deliciously against my skin.

 

My eyes fall closed. I bite my lower lip from the sight of her so bare and ready before me.

 

She tilts her head to the side of my face, letting her lips run along the shell of my ear.

 

“I want to focus on making you feel good this time,” she whispers, before pushing me back against the couch.

 

My eyes peek open, and I watch as she moves down to my chest, pressing soft kisses and licks to my nipples, and I sigh pleasurably.

 

She runs her fingers along my abdomen softly while kissing down the center. When she reaches the top of my pants, she unbuttons and unzips them slowly,  _ driving me up the fucking wall. _

 

When she starts pulling them off, I lift my hips, eager for more.

 

“Commando, huh?” she says, clearly amused.

 

“Yep,” I half whisper and half groan, impatient.

 

“Mmm,” she moans, reaching down and gripping my dick just right before working me up and down. She picks up speed, working me till I’m hard as hell until she stops suddenly and sucks the tip between her lips, dragging her tongue over the center.

 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Bon,” I moan, reaching my hands down and carefully grasping her head.

 

She reaches up, rolling my balls in one hand while taking me deeper into her mouth, her free hand grasping what she can’t reach with her mouth.

 

She starts moving, but so slowly that my hand starts guiding her head of its own volition.

 

“Don’t be a  _ tease _ ,” I say, moaning as my orgasm builds and builds, so quickly after that.

 

I let go of her, letting her keep the pace up as I grasp the sheets and moan, the image and act of her mouth gliding on my dick bringing my climax.

 

She stays that way, swallowing every drop before sitting up.

 

I lay back, eyes shut and blissed out, amazed, when suddenly, I feel her climbing on top of my legs and straddling my hips. My eyes open, and I watch as she fingers herself for a minute before rubbing my dick across her pussy.

 

She sighs, placing one hand on my chest for balance and using the other to guide me inside her tight, hot entrance in one swift motion.

 

Her head falls back and she groans the sexiest little sound I’ve ever heard, as both her hands rest against my chest.

 

_ She may be the death of me, but right now, she’s making me feel more alive than ever. _

 

She starts fucking me, fast and hard, taking my metaphorical breath away. Moans escape her lips with every thrust of her hips.

 

My dick is hard as hell for the second time that afternoon, and I feel like I’m gonna explode. Grabbing her hips, I move us even closer to our mutual orgasms.

 

“At least let me do  _ some  _ of the work, baby,” I say, smirking at her wrecked form.

 

“Fuck,” she moans, digging her nails into my chest as her orgasm builds, overwhelming her every sense.

 

Her thighs tremble, and she starts mumbling incoherently before climaxing, her entire body freezing up and her jaw dropping in ecstasy.

 

I watch as she cums, her beautifully sated expression pulling me over the edge as my second orgasm peaks, overtaking me.

 

“Fuck, I love you,” I whisper, eyes squeezed shut as pleasure mushrooms throughout my body.

 

Bonnie climbs off, before resting her head on my chest and letting her body relax.

 

“I love you, too, somehow,” she whispers, before falling asleep and leaving me shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad people are enjoying this! Chapter 4 will likely be the last (but I could continue it beyond that, who knows).

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you enjoyed this (or hated it), leave your thoughts below; they motivate me to continue (or improve next time) :)


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